I'm losing my mom as I write this. She's 94 years old. A full life indeed. We've had a contentious relationship these last 56 years that's for sure. But, I love my mom and grateful for all that she's given me. I am the man I am because of my mom. Sorry for the heaviness, but the reason I share this with you is because in one way or another we're all experiencing loss of some sort these days. And I have found myself reflecting a lot during these last five months, especially since my mom has declined. I keep thinking back to when I actually lost my dad, 40 years ago. I was 15. Can't believe it. But then, as now, I find myself getting "closer" to the gym and my workouts.
I lost my dad on July 4th, and it was earlier that year that I began training. I had lost almost 100 pounds, with no guidance and very little information. Trial and error I guess. The gym was located in Union, NJ, Garden State Nautilus. I still remember the smell and how nervous I was every time I walked in. I was the kid among men. Bodybuilders, Powerlifters, moving all kinds of weight. I found my little corner, moved when the coast was clear, and did my thing. And what that looked like! Wish I had photos to share, LOL. BUT, I was there. I was in it. I felt safe and was happy. My body was moving and grooving like never before. I had no clue, but it didn't matter. I felt good about myself like never before. My self-esteem and self-respect finally, after 15 years, began to blossom. I no longer felt uncomfortable in my clothes let alone with my shirt off. It was such a foreign feeling for me. If you have ever found yourself in that place, you get what I mean.
My dad died on a Sunday morning. We got the call early. Total chaos. I was lost in my own home. So I went to the gym, of course. A 5 mile bike ride, about 30 minutes for me. I remember walking in the gym and telling the gym manager who opened that day. I even remember his name, John. He had helped me out from time to time with my training. He said, "sorry, keep training." So I did. For hours. I couldn't stop. I just kept moving from one exercise to the next, without a clue. It didn't matter at that point, I felt safe, the real world was outside. I have to say, I was happy even with all going on around me.
And all these years later, through all the drama in my life leading up to right now, the gym has ALWAYS been my happy place. My safe space. My "Fortress of Solitude", for all you Superman fans:) Not the actual brick and mortar mind you, but the workout itself, the weights. My training has saved my ass more than once the past 56 years, one way or another. Today's no different. The only thing that's changed for me is my community of clients, my extended family, and being able to facilitate a healthy lifestyle for them. Their trust, which I take as seriously as my own health, means everything. And when I'm in it, coaching, training, it's my safe and happy place. Everything else is tuned out for that moment. I'm totally engaged.
The conclusion I've come to recently, is that the weights NEVER lie. Your workout NEVER lies. How you feel is REAL. Through all our ups and downs, all that life has to offer, the weights are real. And as the old saying goes, "two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." I deal with the weights in the gym to deal with the weights that come outside of the gym. We all face loss, but we find our way through by connecting to something that reminds us that we are more than what happens to us.
P.S. When you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help you become happier, healthier, and stronger. 1) Be a guest of mine for a complimentary assessment and 1 free trial session. Let's first see what your unique body's structure and needs are and discuss your goals. From there, we can have a full session and see if my work is a good fit. Reply with "FREE" in the subject line and I'll get you all the details. 2) Train with me 1 on 1, if you want individualized, personalized coaching and support to help you reach your goals, online, offline or even in your own home. Reply with "1 on 1" in the subject line and I'll get you all the details on how we can work together. 3) Let's have a FREE 20 minute coaching call. Reply with "call" in the subject line and I'll get you all the details.